


Returns

by izayoi_no_mikoto



Category: Tokyo Babylon
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Harm to Animals, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Rated For Violence, Time Loop, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izayoi_no_mikoto/pseuds/izayoi_no_mikoto
Summary: Hokuto would do anything for Subaru--no matter how many tries it takes, no matter how steep the price.
Relationships: Sakurazuka Seishirou & Sumeragi Hokuto, Sakurazuka Seishirou/Sumeragi Subaru, Sumeragi Hokuto & Sumeragi Subaru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Returns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fayah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fayah/gifts).



> Contains spoilers for the entirety of Tokyo Babylon.

In her own way, Hokuto really did love Seishirou.

She wasn't _in_ love with him. That, she left to her brother. But she did love Seishirou. Why wouldn't she? He noticed every time she wore a new outfit and complimented her outrageously. He accepted her teasing with a good-natured twinkle in his eye and went along with her jokes. He asked for seconds whenever she cooked and gave her a lift in his car whenever she griped about having to ride the train. He told uproariously funny stories when she was feeling blue and listened attentively when she needed a sympathetic ear. He was friendly, gregarious, empathetic, smart, funny, self-effacing, kind. Practically the perfect man.

But mostly, she loved him because she loved Subaru, and so did he.

She loved Subaru more than anything in the world. She loved him more than she loved her own arms and legs, more than the Sumeragi name and history, more than anything. She wanted nothing but the best for him. And all she wanted for him, Seishirou offered.

Seishirou was a man head over heels in love. It wasn't just that he commented on Subaru's handsomeness at the slightest opportunity, although he did. It wasn't just that he proclaimed that he would marry Subaru as though it were as inevitable as gravity, although he did. It wasn't just that he let Subaru into the back of his veterinary clinic to visit the sick and injured animals, or that he drove Subaru to jobs anytime he could, or that he found excuses to clap a hand to Subaru's shoulder or touch the small of Subaru's back or gently brush away a stray hair and tuck it behind Subaru's ear, although he did all of these things.

It was the way he listened to Subaru--sometimes smiling but sometimes sober, with a care and sincerity that were too heartfelt to be feigned or fabricated. It was the way he understood Subaru's work--not just the fine technical and spiritual intricacies, which revealed him as a comrade who had also grown up steeped in the world of onmyoudou, but also the _why_ , the intention and purpose Subaru brought to his every job, the solemnity, the duty. It was the way he understood _Subaru_ \--understood how Subaru saw the world, understood Subaru's strength and frailty, understood Subaru's heart and soul.

There was no misinterpreting it, no misunderstanding it. Even a blind man could see how Seishirou felt. It was there in his grandiose proclamations and his gentle murmurs, his beaming grins and his gentle glances. Seishirou was a man wildly, helplessly, irrepressibly in love.

Seishirou loved Subaru. She really, honestly believed that.

* * *

Seishirou looked at her, his smile broad but his eyes cold, cold, _cold_ , and she realized, with a chilling, dawning dread, that she'd been wrong.

"Hokuto-chan," he said, his voice genial as always but wrong, somehow _wrong_. "What an unexpected surprise."

He lowered his arm, and Subaru sagged. A slick sound, sickening, stomach-churning. Seishirou's arm slid out of Subaru's chest, and Subaru dropped and hit the ground like a sack of rice. He lay there, sprawled gracelessly, his limbs akimbo. His chest was a circle of pulverized flesh, burgundy so dark it was almost black. His eyes were half-open, blank.

Hokuto stared, her eyes wide, her head spinning. "Sei-chan," she whispered.

"Well," Seishirou said cheerfully. His arm was wet, soaked crimson all the way up to his elbow. The sleeve of his suit jacket was rumpled. His hand was dripping. "I must admit, Hokuto-chan, you've caught me in an unfortunate position."

Subaru lay there, his blood pooling beneath him, his chest motionless.

"Sei-chan," Hokuto repeated. Her head felt foggy, her thoughts vague and blurred. She blinked, but the hazy image before her didn't change. "Sei-chan, what-- _why_ \--"

Seishirou smiled at her. There was a smear of blood on his cheek. "Come, now. You know what I am. You've known all along, haven't you?"

"Sakurazukamori," Hokuto whispered.

"The Sumeragi clan's mortal enemy," Seishirou said, beaming confirmation. "The reason for our tragic star-crossed romance. You've known that all along, Hokuto-chan. Did you not believe what you knew? Or did you think I loved him despite it?"

Hokuto stared at him, voiceless. Then she looked at Subaru. Her heart was collapsing on itself, a dying star; it might as well have been her own chest to be eviscerated.

"I tried, you know," Seishirou continued. His tone was conversational. When he looked at his blood-coated hand, a tiny wrinkle appeared in his brow, as though he were mildly surprised by the sight. Then he looked down at Subaru. "I tried to love him. If anyone could do it, I thought, surely it would be Sumeragi Subaru-kun. But even after a year, nothing changed. He was no different than a crumpled piece of paper. And, well, he saw me. The Sakurazukamori leaves no witnesses, you know."

Seishirou's voice came to her as though from a great distance. Subaru. Subaru. _Subaru_.

 _I need to save him_ , she thought dimly. And, at the same time, _It's too late._

Subaru's eyes were blank, and he did not move.

Slowly, she looked up. Seishirou was smiling at her, that same goofy smile that almost closed his eyes. "I'm afraid this is your unlucky day, Hokuto-chan," he said. "If only you'd come a few minutes later. You wouldn't have had to see any of this."

"You killed him," Hokuto whispered.

The words tasted foreign in her mouth. Incomprehensible, unreal. Seishirou kill him. He killed Subaru.

Subaru was dead.

"I gave him a chance," Seishirou replied, spreading his arms. "That's more than most people get, you know."

"You killed him," Hokuto repeated.

"The Sakurazukamori leaves no witnesses," Seishirou said again. He paused, his head cocked to the side, and studied her. "Not him, and not you."

"You're going to kill me, too," Hokuto said. It emerged blank, flat. Incomprehensible. Unreal.

"I'm afraid so," Seishirou said. "I'm sorry, Hokuto-chan."

"Are you?" Hokuto asked.

"Sorry?" Once again, Seishirou smiled. "No."

And there was so much more she could have said. _How could you. I thought you loved him. Hokuto, you fool._ But Seishirou lifted his foot and stepped over Subaru, just stepped over him like so much rubbish, and approached her, step by step.

"No," Hokuto whispered.

This couldn't be real. It _couldn't_.

"Good-bye, Hokuto-chan," he said, and he lifted his hand, still soaked crimson.

No.

No.

 _No_.

* * *

Hokuto was not an onmyouji. She didn't have Subaru's abilities, Subaru's training, Subaru's dedication and sincerity and bleeding heart.

But she did have his self-sacrificial streak, and his determination, and above all, she had more love for him than he'd ever had for himself.

She wasn't an onmyouji. But still, there were spells that only she was capable of.

* * *

"Subaru," she said, " _Subaru--_ "

* * *

Hokuto woke up with a gasp.

Her eyes wide and wild, she stared at the dark ceiling above, her head spinning and her chest heaving.

She blinked. It was a split second of pitch blackness, a split second too long. The memory was engraved in blood on the inside of her eyelids.

Hokuto lurched out of bed. She gasped for air wildly and she swooned like a drunk, but she stumbled out of her bedroom nevertheless, groping her way along the wall. The door to Subaru's bedroom was shut, and she pawed at the doorknob until it finally turned and yielded beneath her fumbling grip.

Hokuto practically spilled into Subaru's bedroom. It looked the same as it ever did--the curtains drawn against Tokyo's light pollution, the desk neatly organized, the closet door just barely ajar. Subaru slept the way he always did, too--his back to the wall, curled tightly on himself, one arm tucked beneath his head, his breathing slow and steady.

Breathing.

Subaru was breathing.

Hokuto sagged against the doorjamb, all the strength draining from her in an instant. She took a deep breath, then another. Subaru, too, took another breath, and another.

She padded up to his bedside and stood there, her arms dangling limply at her sides. _A dream_ , she realized. _It was just a dream._

"Subaru," she whispered. Her voice was hoarse.

She didn't shake him awake, didn't even touch him. She didn't have to. Subaru's eyes snapped open. He blinked, once. "Hokuto-chan?" he whispered.

There was no need to whisper; they lived alone together, and there was no one else home to wake up. Still, there was something about the lateness of the hour, the dimness of the night, the way the colors all washed out into a palette of grays--something that made Hokuto's voice go soft as well. "Sorry," she whispered. "I just--I had a nightmare."

Subaru yawned, covering his mouth with one hand. Then he scooted back against the wall and lifted the blanket up.

Wordlessly, Hokuto scrambled into bed beside him. There wasn't much room, but they squeezed together. The blankets were warm. Subaru, too, was warm.

"It's been a long time since we slept together," Subaru murmured. "Since we were kids."

"I know," Hokuto replied. She was grateful that Subaru didn't ask.

Subaru soon dozed off again, but Hokuto lay awake in the darkness, just staring at him. The slackness of his face, the way his hair fell over his eyes, his breathing.

"It was a dream, Hokuto," she whispered to herself, and she closed her eyes.

* * *

The next day was Sunday. Seishirou joined them for lunch.

He arrived at their apartment dressed in his usual suit and tie, his hair a bit tousled, his smile firmly in place. He had in his hand a box wrapped in a blue-striped _furoshiki_.

Hokuto opened the door and, instinctively, froze.

"Hokuto-chan!" Seishirou said, beaming. "Good morning!"

She stared at him, her eyes wide and her heart thundering.

The _furoshiki_ was imperfectly tied, the knot a bit lopsided, but the effort was obvious; he held it like it was something precious. His hands were perfectly clean.

Hokuto shivered.

Seishirou blinked, and his bright smile faltered, just a bit. "Hokuto-chan?"

Hokuto snapped out of it. "Sorry," she blurted. "I--sorry."

"Are you all right?" he asked, concern filling his voice.

Hokuto waved his question away with a forced laugh. She tried, she really did, but it still emerged too brittle. "Oh, it's nothing! I just--I didn't sleep well last night."

Seishirou cocked his head to the side, a silent invitation. She didn't take him up on it. "Come in," she said instead, opening the door wide.

"Thank you," Seishirou said. "Pardon the intrusion!" He stepped into the _genkan_ , slipped his shoes off, and lined them up neatly. Hokuto produced a pair of slippers for him, the ones that were technically slippers for visitors but really were just his. He slid into them easily. "Where's Subaru?" he asked, straightening.

Hokuto opened her mouth to respond, but before she could speak, Subaru peeked his head around the corner. "Seishirou-san!" he said. "Welcome." His eyes trained on the _furoshiki_ -wrapped box. "What's that?"

The transformation was sudden and absolute.

It was like the rest of the world had fallen away, like everything else in the universe simply ceased to exist, and Hokuto along with it. Seishirou swiveled, his entire body turning, every molecule of his being focusing on Subaru. His beaming grin softened at the edges, going tender and helplessly heartfelt. His eyes might as well have been full of stars. "I brought dessert," he said as he lifted the box, and his voice was rich and warm, and--

 _Oh_ , Hokuto thought, and somewhere inside her, the undercurrent of anxiety settled and subsided.

Because Subaru smiled like he couldn't help it, like Seishirou dragged it out of him, just a tiny fragment of something he never showed anyone else, and Seishirou lit up at the sight.

 _Just a dream_ , Hokuto realized, _just a horrible dream_ , because Seishirou was a love-addled man, and her dream was just a dream.

* * *

They went to lunch at a trendy cafe, one with dainty pasta dishes and ornate Western-style salads. Then they went back to the apartment for dessert, where Hokuto untied the _furoshiki_ to reveal a box of _monaka_ shaped like cherry blossoms. She and Subaru oohed and aahed appropriately, and then Hokuto prepared some tea and they sat down at the table to munch and drink and chit-chat. Subaru talked about the job he had lined up for tomorrow afternoon after school, involving a woman who was certain that her heirloom _go_ board was haunted. Seishirou talked about his veterinary practice, specifically the Shiba Inu puppy who'd lost a leg but seemed to be recovering well. Hokuto talked about an art museum scheduled to open soon in Shibuya that she wanted to visit, if only Subaru weren't too busy to go with her. "I'd be happy to go to the museum with you, Hokuto-chan," Seishirou said, wearing that goofy grin. "Although I have to admit, I don't actually know that much about contemporary art!"

Hokuto let out a guffaw. Then she leaned towards Seishirou conspiratorially, covering her mouth with one hand. "To be honest, I don't, either," she said in a stage whisper. "I think that's why Subaru refuses to go with me!"

"Hokuto-chan!" Subaru yelped. "That's not true at _all_!"

She and Seishirou exchanged glances, and then they both burst out laughing. Subaru soon joined them, and Hokuto laughed until her stomach hurt, and Seishirou watched Subaru with a fondness so sharp Hokuto could almost feel its razor edge.

 _Just a dream_ , she told herself, and she soon forgot about it entirely.

* * *

She didn't remember it until a week or two later, when Subaru went to Seishirou's clinic to visit the Shiba Inu with the amputated leg. Hokuto already had plans to go shopping, but she promised to swing by the clinic when she was done, and then she and Subaru could go home together.

She finished her shopping a bit earlier than expected. She arrived at Seishirou's clinic with two shopping bags in hand, prepared to squeal over all the adorable animals, only to find that it was closed. The windows were dark; a handwritten sign was taped to the glass door, reading _Closed for the day_. She frowned, staring at the piece of paper with Seishirou's handwriting, and then, on a whim, tried the handle.

The door swung open, and Hokuto stepped inside. There was, of course, no one there. "Sei-chan?" she called out, a bit timidly. "Subaru?"

There was no response.

Hokuto shut the door behind her, locked it for good measure, put her shopping bags down on one of the chairs in the waiting area. Then, for lack of any better idea, she ducked past the reception area, pushed open the door, and slipped into the back hallway.

She peeked inside the two exam rooms first, but they were empty. That left only the back rooms, where she assumed animals were kept during treatment and where all sorts of unwatchable medical procedures doubtlessly took place. She'd never been back there before, but the rest of the clinic was empty; there was nowhere else they could be.

A bit nervously, Hokuto nudged the door open and stepped inside.

Somehow, she expected a cacophony of noise, of dogs barking and yipping and howling upon the arrival of an unexpected guest. But her entrance was met by nothing but silence. She could see the canine outlines in the cages lining the wall, but they didn't bark, didn't react, didn't even move.

Something dark and liquid seeped out of several of the cages.

"Ah. Hokuto-chan."

Slowly, too slowly, Hokuto turned.

Seishirou stood off toward the corner, something tucked under one arm. He approached, step by step. "You're early, Hokuto-chan," he said pleasantly. "I thought you were going shopping."

"I finished early," Hokuto said, and then her eyes went wide.

It was a Shiba Inu tucked under his arm, black and tan with pricked ears and a curlicue of a tail. It hung limply, its three legs dangling, its head flopping.

Its blood dripped down Seishirou's arm to splatter on the tile below.

"Where's Subaru?" Hokuto asked. Her voice emerged as a weak croak.

Seishirou's lips quirked in something that could almost be called a smile. "He's back there," he replied. "But I don't think you want to see him."

Her gaze shifted without conscious input. Slowly, too slowly, her eyes slid across the room. To the doorway with the sign over it reading OPERATING ROOM _._ The door was open.

There, framed in the doorway, were a pair of feet, turned at an awkward angle, wearing Subaru's boots.

Her heart stopped.

"You shouldn't have come early, Hokuto-chan." Seishirou spoke casually. He slung the dead dog onto the table. "You weren't supposed to be here yet."

Hokuto stared blankly at Subaru's feet. The rest of him was out of sight, hidden behind the doorway. She wanted to go running to him, wanted to scream, wanted to cry. But her feet were cemented to the floor, and her body wasn't hers anyway. Her heart did not beat, and her lungs did not expand to fill with air, and her limbs hung uselessly.

Beneath Subaru's legs, creeping down centimeter by slow centimeter, was a slowly expanding pool of blood.

Somehow, Hokuto dragged her eyes away from Subaru. They landed instead on the Shiba Inu, now lying sprawled and lifeless on the table. "What," she whispered, "what about the dogs?"

Seishirou's eyebrows rose. "The rebound," he answered. He explained slowly, enunciating clearly, as though speaking to a dull child. "Spells will rebound on you if you aren't careful. That's what the animals are for. They take the damage."

Hokuto swallowed. "What if one of them dies?"

Seishirou just looked at her, his eyes as flat and emotionless as glass. "It happens, sometimes," he replied. "Veterinary science can't save every animal, you know. Sometimes a pet is too sick or too hurt to recover. And, well, if an animal dies at the animal hospital, no one thinks twice about it. 'How unfortunate,' they say, and when they get a new pet, they'll bring it here, too."

"And Subaru?" Hokuto asked.

And Seishirou's flat expression melted into a warm, comforting smile. "Don't worry," he said. "You'll be with him soon."

He took a step toward her. Another. And another.

 _No_ , Hokuto thought, **_no_** \--

* * *

Hokuto bolted upright and, somehow, did not scream.

She glanced wildly around the darkened room, her heart roaring, her pulse racing. Her bedsheets were soaked with nervous sweat; her stomach churned and roiled. She gasped for air desperately, her entire body buzzing with adrenaline.

 _Subaru_ , she thought, and she flung the blankets back and bolted from her bedroom, her footsteps too loud in the too-dark, too-quiet apartment.

Subaru's bedroom door was shut. Subaru's desk was perfectly organized. Subaru lay in bed, his body hunched up, his eyes closed, his breathing soft and regular.

Hokuto froze in the doorway, panting. Then, slowly, her knees buckled and she sank to the floor.

 _Just a nightmare_ , she thought, dizzy with relief. She closed her eyes and sagged against the doorjamb. _Just a nightmare--_

And then her eyes snapped open and her blood ran cold, and she realized.

* * *

"Hello, Hokuto-chan!" Seishirou said, lifting up the box in its _furoshiki_ wrap. "I brought dessert!"

Hokuto stared at him, her hand clenching the side of door. Before her, Seishirou stood on the doorstep, wearing his regular suit, his tie a bit skewed. He wore an easy smile. There was not a speck of blood to be seen.

She stared at him, and his name was bile in the back of her mouth.

The silence extended, a vacuum. Seishirou's smile faltered. "Hokuto-chan?" He sounded a bit uncertain.

With a jolt, Hokuto snapped out of it. "Sorry," she said automatically, stepping back to let him in. "Hi, Sei-chan."

Seishirou stepped into the _genkan_. "Are you all right?" he asked, his brow furrowed. "You look a bit pale."

"Sorry," Hokuto said numbly, not moving. "I didn't sleep well last night."

"Hmm?" Seishirou had reached down to take off his shoes, but now he glanced up at her curiously. He took off his shoes, lined them up neatly, straightened. "Bad dreams?"

She looked at him. His expression was open and honest, his head tilted ever so slightly to the side. There was a fingerprint smudge on one lens of his glasses. There was a hint of concern in his gaze.

 _Liar_.

"No," Hokuto said honestly. "No bad dreams."

* * *

At lunch, Hokuto ordered spaghetti with ham and spinach in a cream sauce. But she only picked at it listlessly, her appetite nonexistent.

Seishirou was his usual affable self--offering to feed Subaru a bite of his pasta, poking gentle fun at Subaru's blush, telling Subaru about his newest patient. "A Shiba Inu puppy," he said. "Maybe twelve weeks old. We think she was hit by a car. We had to amputate one of her legs, but surgery went as well as could be expected. We're hopeful about her recovery."

Subaru leaned forward as though drawn in. "Can I visit her?" he asked, his eyes raised hopefully.

"I don't see why not," Seishirou replied with a smile. "Not quite yet, though--she's still in a pretty fragile state. Maybe in a week or two."

Hokuto's eyes went wide.

Seishirou was just the same as always. His laughs were easy and his eyes bright, and he spoke with a tone that melded seriousness and hope when discussing his animal patients, and most of all, he gave Subaru his undivided attention, his eyes never flickering away, the very image of a man endlessly patient in his love.

And he was planning to kill Subaru.

Hokuto gritted her teeth. I _won't let you_ , she thought savagely, stabbing her fork into her pasta. _I'll stop you. No matter how many times it takes, I'll stop you.  
_

* * *

The next day, Subaru had a job after school--the woman with the ostensibly haunted _go_ board inherited from her father--and so Hokuto stayed out as well, going to karaoke with a few school friends. She warbled her way through a few _enka_ songs to uproarious whoops and laughter, and when she emerged from the karaoke box a few hours later, she went home with her throat a bit hoarse but in good cheer.

"I'm home!" she called out as she swung open the front door. Then she noticed a familiar pair of leather shoes, sitting lined up perfectly in the corner of the _genkan_. Seishirou's slippers, too, were not in their usual home in the shoe box. "Sei-chan!" she exclaimed. "Subaru, you didn't tell me he'd be coming over!"

She kicked off her own shoes and stepped up out of the _genkan_ , and then, too late, her mind caught up.

"Subaru," she breathed, and she ran.

He was in the living room. He lay on the floor beside the couch, sprawled on his stomach, his head turned to the side. His eyes were half-open and terrifyingly blank.

"Ah, Hokuto-chan," a voice said behind her.

Slowly, she turned around. Seishirou gazed at her, his feet in his slippers and his suit jacket draped over one arm. There was a smear of crimson on his left cheek.

"Sei-chan," she whispered.

 ** _No_** \--

* * *

Hokuto woke up, her breathing ragged in her own ears. Slowly, she hauled herself upright, and then she dropped her head into her hands, a knot in her throat, her mind racing.

 _Why_? she thought hysterically, and somehow did not weep.

Why was Seishirou doing this?

Why had Seishirou deceived them?

Why did Subaru have to die?

* * *

That morning, Hokuto made French toast for breakfast, topped with baked apple slices and full of cinnamon. She barely saw as she whisked the eggs, dipped the bread slices, flipped them over and watched them sizzle in the pan. _Why_? she wondered again. _Why_? It circled and simmered in her mind, a dog chasing its own tail. But the _why_ didn't matter, not any more. What mattered was keeping Subaru alive.

So Hokuto whisked and dipped and flipped, and when Subaru sat down at the table for breakfast, she put a heaping plate of apple cinnamon French toast in front of him, basked in his praise, teased him by saying he needed more meat on his bones. Only when he was dragging the last bite through a pond of maple syrup did she ask.

"Subaru," she said, leaning her elbows on the table and her chin in her hand. "What do you think about Sei-chan?"

Subaru paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. For a moment, just a second too long, he kept staring down, his eyes widening. Then he lowered his fork and looked at her quizzically, innocently, but with cheeks that were tinged pink. "Seishirou-san?" he asked. "What do you mean?"

"It's a simple question, Subaru," she said. "Be honest. What do you think of him?"

He looked back down at his nearly-empty plate, wearing a difficult expression. He didn't answer at first, and Hokuto could see that it was because he didn't know how to answer.

But she could see, too, how his face betrayed what he himself didn't consciously know. She could see the way his gaze flickered, the flash of something sharp and yearning in his gaze. She could see the way the corners of his lips twitched. She could see the way he turned his fork over in his fingers.

"He's Seishirou-san," Subaru said at last, quiet. As though that were answer enough.

Hokuto closed her eyes, her heart sinking.

 _He's Sakurazukamori_ , she thought. _He's your mortal enemy. He undermines everything you strive to do. He's lying, Subaru. He's been lying this whole time. I don't know why, but he'll destroy you, Subaru, he'll **destroy** you_\--

But the words tangled in her throat, killing her voice. She couldn't say it. She couldn't say anything at all.

She'd spent so long encouraging Subaru to fall in love with Seishirou. She rued that, now.

* * *

When Seishirou arrived at their apartment, _furoshiki_ -wrapped box in hand, Hokuto greeted him with a boisterous smile. She welcomed him in, offered him his slippers, speculated excitedly about what delicious dessert he could have brought them. When Subaru made his appearance, she made a sly crack--"your suitor has arrived, Subaru!"--and laughed as Subaru spluttered and Seishirou waxed eloquent.

She couldn't let Seishirou suspect anything. She had to act normal. But if she was going to save Subaru, something needed to change, _something_ , and she needed to figure out _what_.

So she watched.

They went out to lunch. Seishirou perused the menu, considering his options. He fastidiously refilled Subaru's water glass from the bottle on the table. He called Hokuto his future sister-in-law, and though his voice was joking, the humor in his gaze cracked to reveal something frightfully earnest, just for a moment.

He played his role impeccably, so much so that Hokuto might have doubted her sanity.

After lunch, Seishirou drove them back to their apartment, and they untied the _furoshiki_ to reveal the box of sakura _monaka_. "I thought we could have some for dessert!" he said, beaming.

Hokuto stared at the sweets. The _monaka_ were almost too cute to eat--pale pink, each individually wrapped. They were shaped like cherry blossoms, five petals, each perfectly formed.

Cherry blossoms.

Sakura.

She looked up. Seishirou held the box out toward her with a grin, but there was something in his gaze, something sharp and cunning. She'd seen it before, when they talked about Subaru.

It scared her, that look in his eyes.

Then he grinned cheesily at her, and the moment shattered. "Would you like one, Hokuto-chan?" he asked.

Hokuto stared at the _monaka_. Cherry blossoms. There was a lump in her throat, a scream turned solid and toxic. But she swallowed it down, plucked up a single sakura-shaped _monaka_ , and unwrapped it. "Thank you, Sei-chan!" she said, and then she took a bite.

Seishirou smiled with his eyes closed. The _monaka_ dissolved into ash on her tongue.

* * *

Subaru disappeared on the way to a job. The client called the house, and when Hokuto picked up, he said it was an hour past their appointment time and Subaru was yet to show. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Hokuto went out and traced the route Subaru would have taken. She found him in one of the narrow streets that riddled Tokyo's residential neighborhoods, little more than an alley. He lay on the concrete in a pool of his own blood, disemboweled, his intestines putrid and bilious beside him--

_No._

Subaru called her from a public phone to tell her that he'd be home late because he'd run into an elderly woman who needed help convincing her daughter to leave her abusive husband. Hokuto bit her nails down to the quick as the hours slid past. Then, at last, there was a bulletin on the TV, breaking news: a violent man had attacked his wife, only to be stopped by a boy and then killed by a mysterious stranger. The boy and the stranger had both vanished. _The_ boy, the battered wife cried out, in hysterics, _what about the boy_ \--

_No._

Subaru stayed home from school, violently sick with food poisoning. Hokuto made him rice porridge, put a bottle of water by his bed, and made him promise to call the school to fetch her home if he started feeling any worse. She received no such messages during school hours, and she breathed a sigh of relief. But when she got back home that afternoon, the front door was unlocked and Subaru lay in his bed, stretched out in a straight line, his sheets stained dark beneath him--

 _No_.

She went back, and Subaru died.

She went back, and Subaru died.

Again, and again, and again, Subaru died.

* * *

Subaru met a boy named Yuuya.

He told her about their meeting over dinner--Yuuya's illness, the hospital stay, the need for a kidney transplant, the desperate, wrung-out mother. "I wish I could do something," Subaru said, with a deep regret that was the closest he could ever get to bitterness. "No child should suffer like that, and no parent should have to watch that happen to their child."

"Organ transplants," Hokuto said pensively, looking into her rice bowl. "That's hard, especially here in Japan. There aren't enough people able and willing to donate, and not enough family members willing to agree. And it's almost impossible to receive an organ from a dead donor unless you can afford to go abroad. There are never enough organs to go around, not even for children. _Especially_ for children."

"I just wonder if there's anything I can do," Subaru murmured.

 _Oh, Subaru_ , Hokuto thought, her stomach wringing, her eyes stinging. _Why do you always have to try to save everyone else? Why can't you try to save yourself?_

"I'm sure the doctors are trying their hardest," she replied, as though that possibly could have been reassurance enough.

She was a fool, such a _fool_. When had Subaru ever faced the unfairness of the world without blinking? When had Subaru ever witnessed suffering and kept his distance? When had Subaru ever accepted that he could not sacrifice enough to right the wrongs happening before his very eyes?

Of _course_ he would try to save Yuuya. Of _course_ he would offer himself up. Of _course_ ; he wouldn't be Subaru otherwise.

But what she never would have expected was that _Seishirou_ would sacrifice in his stead.

* * *

Sitting in the uncomfortable chair in the hospital waiting room, Hokuto listened to the story silently, numbly, full of disbelief.

"And he--he jumped in front of me," Subaru whispered, his voice choked with tears. "She--she stabbed him. In the eye. He's lost his _eye_ , Hokuto-chan, and it's because of _me_ \--"

"It's not your fault," Hokuto said automatically, but still her head spun and whirled, unable to grasp the enormity of the situation. Subaru had been attacked. Subaru had been in danger. Subaru might have even _died_ , except--

\--Except Seishirou had saved him, at significant cost to himself.

"And you don't know that he's lost his eye, Subaru," she added. "He was right here at the hospital when it happened. He got into surgery right away, didn't he? Maybe--"

"The doctors said." Subaru's voice was flat. He clasped his hands together and pressed them against his own forehead, curling up on himself. "Even if they can save the eye itself, he won't be able to use it anymore. He'll be blind in one eye. Because of me."

Hokuto swallowed. It was terrible, of course, horrible, tragic--so much so that she at first didn't recognize the strange fluttering sensation in her chest. But then, at last, she realized. _Hope_ , she realized, her stomach swooping. It was _hope_.

Seishirou had saved him. Seishirou had saved Subaru.

Maybe--maybe--

She quashed the thought before it could grow any further. It was still too soon for hope. She stomped it out ruthlessly, without mercy, as though to avoid jinxing herself. Still, some part of her yearned, hoping against hope.

 _Maybe he does care_ , some tiny, traitorous voice inside her whispered. _Maybe some part of him does love Subaru, too._

* * *

Such a fickle thing, hope.

* * *

Seishirou was kept in the hospital for days, and Subaru went to visit him every day--hours every day, a pilgrimage of love and penance. Hokuto, too, went to visit, if less frequently. They all wore determined smiles by sheer force of will, as though to deny the circumstances that had led them to this place.

It was a herculean effort, to keep Subaru's spirits up.

It was only when Subaru had excused himself to the restroom that Seishirou sighed, his shoulders slumping, his ever-present smile fading. "I wish he wouldn't blame himself," he murmured.

Hokuto turned to him, surprised.

"It's not his fault," Seishirou said. He lifted one hand to his eye, still bandaged and hidden from sight. "I know he blames himself, but I wish he wouldn't. If anything, it's my fault this happened. I chose to do this. I brought it upon myself." He paused. "And I'd do it again, if I had to."

"To keep him safe," Hokuto whispered.

Seishirou glanced at her. "I'd do anything for him," he said, too frank. "You know that, Hokuto-chan, don't you?"

And he was a phenomenal liar, she _knew_ that. But he'd put himself in harm's danger for Subaru, sacrificed his eye for Subaru. _That_ was no lie. So really, was it too much to think that Seishirou might have learned some tiny shred of human sympathy? Was it too much to believe that Subaru's goodness and pure heart and unpretentious, oblivious, selfless love could have moved Seishirou's soul? Was it too much, to hope?

* * *

Such a fickle, cruel thing, hope.

* * *

On the day Seishirou was to be discharged, Subaru again went to the hospital to visit him.

Hokuto didn't go with him; they needed some time alone together. Subaru needed to realize what his own feelings meant. Seishirou, too. And more than that, they needed to stop blaming themselves and forgive each other for the self-recrimination they'd each been swallowing down. Let them have this time together, alone.

So instead, Hokuto went to the grocery store. She'd make a big dinner to celebrate Seishirou being discharged from the hospital, and they'd spend time together, and maybe, just maybe, Subaru would realize the truth of his feelings, and Seishirou would realize that his own were not a lie.

So she went to the grocery store and bought the makings of a feast, mincemeat for _gyouza_ and soybean sprouts and tofu and corn soup for sides and salmon to cook _à la meunière_ and slices of cheesecake for dessert. She went home, hummed idly as she put the ingredients away in the refrigerator, and then, almost skipping, she went to the hospital.

The receptionists recognized her by now, and she chatted with them idly as she filled out the visitor check-in sheet. Then she went straight to the visiting room on Seishirou's floor. When she got there, though, Seishirou and Subaru were nowhere to be seen.

Frowning, she scanned the room again, but among all the various groups of patients and their visitors, she recognized no one. _I'll check his hospital room_ , she decided. Visits were supposed to happen in the visiting room to avoid inconveniencing the other people in his shared hospital room, but maybe they were gathering up his things. After all, he was being discharged today.

She went to his hospital room. The door was closed. She knocked. "It's Hokuto!" she announced, and then she opened the door--

\--and instantly was enveloped by darkness.

Panic clutched her heart. She whirled around, but the hospital door behind her had vanished, replaced by an infinite blackness. She stared, wide-eyed, into the abyss of emptiness.

A flicker of color floated over her shoulder into sight. A pink flower petal, fluttering on an intangible breeze.

Slowly, she turned around.

Against a tableau of blackness, Seishirou sat on his hospital bed, dressed in his hospital gown, his eye still bandaged. He was sitting upright, hisfeet resting flat on the unseen floor. Subaru lay stretched out on the bed, his head in Seishirou's lap, and Seishirou cradled it in his hands gently, tenderly, the way a lover would. He gazed at Subaru the same way, his smile soft. He only looked up when Hokuto let out a strangled noise, and even then his expression was unchanged. "Hokuto-chan," he said, as though completely unsurprised.

"Sei-chan," Hokuto said.

Seishirou pulled one hand away from Subaru's face, streaking blood across one pale cheek. Then he stood up, and Subaru's head rolled onto the floor with a sickening thud.

 _No_.

Hokuto stared, unable to believe what she saw. Subaru. Subaru. _Subaru_.

"But," she said, bewildered, helpless. "I thought--"

Seishirou had _saved_ him. Seishirou had committed an act of tremendous self-sacrifice, all for Subaru's sake. So why-- _why_ \--

"You thought?" Seishirou prompted.

Hokuto swallowed. "I thought you cared," she whispered. Her voice was swallowed up in the darkness.

Seishirou laughed. It wasn't mocking or scornful. It wasn't anything at all. "Really?" He sounded surprised. "I thought you would have figured it out by now."

Hokuto choked on nothing but her own confusion and fury. Her brain screeched to a halt, her mind going back over his words--

_By now?_

"What?" she whispered, stunned senseless. 

"Oh, Hokuto-chan," Seishirou said, his voice warm, his smile deceptively genuine. "Did you think I didn't know what you were doing?"

Her breath caught. Her lungs had collapsed in her chest; oxygen deprivation made her head swim. "Sei-chan," she choked out. 

"I have to admit, I am impressed," Seishirou said. He looked sincere, sounded sincere; he always had. "I didn't think you had that kind of ability." His gaze was just a shade off from warm, his smile with just the tiniest bit of edge. "I should have known not to underestimate you, not when it came to your brother."

Her throat achingly dry, her heart freezing, Hokuto retreated a step. Another. But it was like trying to fight gravity; Seishirou simply advanced on her, one hand tucked in his pocket, his expression warm and open, his eyes glinting.

"But you should know better, Hokuto-chan," Seishirou said. "Onmyouji aren't gods. Onmyoudou isn't all-powerful. You can't save him. No matter how many times you go back, no matter how hard you try."

"No," Hokuto gasped, tears pouring down her cheeks, despair devouring her from the inside. "No, no, no--"

"You can go back again, if you'd like," Seishirou said. "But death will have its way no matter what you do. Someone is going to die, Hokuto-chan. And there's nothing you can do to change that."

* * *

When Hokuto opened her eyes, tears already soaked her pillow.

She lay there, motionless, powerless. The tears streamed silently and without end. Her vision wobbled and blurred, but still she stared at the ceiling, exhausted, empty. It was not despair or terror or desperation that filled her now; she had no strength for that.

"Subaru," she whispered. "Subaru."

In a few hours, Subaru would wake up. He would get dressed, eat breakfast, talk with Hokuto, do homework. They'd go out to lunch with Seishirou, who would gaze at Subaru with nothing but pure, unadulterated adoration. The next day, Subaru would go to school, and after school, he'd have a job, a woman in Mejiro whose heirloom _go_ board haunted her very dreams. And his life would continue in the same way, a series of classes and jobs and Seishirou and Seishirou and _Seishirou_ \--

Until one day, seemingly at random, it would end in blood and agony.

Hokuto covered her face with both hands. Her throat tore on itself, shredded by the thorns of her own strangled voice. Her eyes stung with bitter tears. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs.

Subaru was dead.

Subaru was asleep in the next room over, still breathing, his heart still pumping. But he was dead all the same; it was only a matter of time.

"I can't save him," Hokuto whispered. The words were soft, barely audible, but they were torn out of her as if by a monster. "I can't save him. _Subaru_ \--"

* * *

And then it came to her. Crystal clear, like a bubble rising into the air.

 _Oh_ , she thought, and the revelation came without fear, without reluctance, without regret.

* * *

In the morning, she called her grandmother in Kyoto.

"Hokuto-san," Grandmother said, her voice preternaturally calm.

"Grandmother," Hokuto replied. Her voice was chilly and flat in her own ears. "I need your help. It's about Subaru."

* * *

Seishirou came over for lunch, bearing a box wrapped in a blue-striped _furoshiki_. "I brought dessert!" he exclaimed, holding it up like a prize.

"Sei-chan," she said. It was strange, how easily the nickname came to her tongue. Surely she should never have been able to use such a cute name for someone so heartless and cruel. Surely she should have addressed him with a voice dripping with poison, colder than ice. Surely he did not deserve a single shred of kindness or friendliness.

But Seishirou's smile was achingly familiar, and no amount of horror could overwrite all the memories from happier times when she had been simple and naive. And above all else, she loved Subaru, and Subaru loved him.

"Sei-chan," she said, "let's talk."

She stepped into a pair of sandals and stepped outside, closing the door behind her. Seishirou's eyebrows went up. "Talk?" he asked. "Talk about what?"

"Let's not play any games," she replied. She smiled, but even she could tell that it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm being serious here, Sei-chan."

As he gazed at her, something shifted in his expression. There was nothing tangible, nothing she could put a finger on, but it was there nevertheless--a certain chill, a certain emptiness. He, too, smiled, but she knew better than to trust it.

"Tell me," she said. She kept her voice low, controlled. "Why did you save him? Why did you step in front of that knife and lose your eye for him if you were only going to kill him?"

"Why?" Seishirou sounded a bit taken aback. "We had a deal. A bet, if you will. I would spend a year trying to love him, and if I did ever learn to care about him, even just a little bit, I would let him live. Until then, I'd act like I was really in love with him. And if I really were in love with him, I would do anything for him." He cocked his head to the side. "You understand, don't you, Hokuto-chan? You love him, too."

"I do," Hokuto replied. "And I would do anything for him. _Anything_."

Seishirou studied her, his gaze piercing. Two eyes, whole and gleaming. "I look forward to seeing you try," he said, his tone colored with amusement.

Suddenly, the door opened. Subaru peeked his head out. "Hello, Seishirou-san," he said. "What are you two doing out here?"

"Just having a little conversation," Hokuto replied, giving him an innocent smile.

"I brought dessert!" Seishirou announced with childlike glee.

They traded a glance. Seishirou's smile turned sly, just for a moment. Hokuto nodded, just the tiniest motion of her head.

They went to lunch.

* * *

Subaru met a boy named Yuuya.

"He needs a transplant," Subaru explained, his head lowered, his eyes fixed on the floor. "He can't survive without one."

Hokuto had almost forgotten. "You can't save everyone, Subaru," she replied quietly.

"I know," Subaru said.

 _No, you don't_ , Hokuto thought. _You need to learn to accept when you can't save someone_. What a hypocrite she was. "But why don't you go visit? I'm sure they would appreciate it," she suggested. "I bet Yuuya-kun could use a friendly face right about now."

Subaru brightened. "You're right," he said, a hint of a smile returning to his face. "And I'm sure his mother could use a break. I'll go back to the hospital tomorrow."

"Good," Hokuto said, offering him a gentle smile that held not the slightest trace of viciousness. _And maybe this time, she'll stab Seishirou in the heart_.

* * *

Yuuya's wretched, anguished mother did not stab Seishirou in the heart. She stabbed Seishirou in the face, slashing him through the eye.

Subaru bore the burden of guilt with something akin to self-loathing, and he walked into the lion's den as naive as a newborn lamb.

* * *

On the other end of the line, Grandmother's silence had been stern, skeptical, almost reproachful. "You do not know what will happen, or when it will happen."

"No," Hokuto had replied, too honest. "I don't."

The silence had turned downright chilly. "Tell me, Hokuto-san, do you have reason to believe that Subaru-san's life is in danger?"

Her grandmother always had been that way--distant, aloof, referring to her own grandchild as though they were near-strangers. Hokuto returned the courtesy. "Grandmother, would I come to you with this if I had any doubt whatsoever?"

Grandmother's silence shifted, transforming. First, surprise; then, alarm. "Very well, Hokuto-san," Grandmother had replied, but now her frostiness was something else entirely. "Thank you for informing me."

Her grandmother, too, had once led the Sumeragi clan. She, too, was a powerful onmyouji. Not as powerful as Subaru, and not as powerful as Seishirou. But powerful enough to make a difference.

* * *

Subaru's injuries were grievous. His elbow was snapped to splinters, his arm broken in multiple places. He had several cracked ribs, one of which had punctured a lung. He was bruised and battered all over, beaten heartlessly. He still lay in a medically induced coma, and they weren't sure what would happen when they finally tried to wake him up.

But he was alive.

Hokuto sat in his hospital room, listening to the clinical beeping of his pulse. She sat watching him, watching his chest rise and fall with the help of a machine. She sat helpless, useless.

 _But he's alive_ , Hokuto told herself, again and again. _Subaru is alive_.

Subaru had a private hospital room, paid for by deep Sumeragi pockets, and Hokuto stayed there as long as they would let her. She came every day, arriving as soon as visiting hours started at ten in the morning. Sometimes they let her stay through lunch, even though it was supposed to be a non-visiting time slot; she turned herself, teary-eyed and beseeching, on the mercy of the nurse on call, and sometimes they let her stay as long as she sat in the corner and didn't make a peep. When visiting hours rolled around again, she dragged her chair back to Subaru's bedside and clutched at his limp hand, squeezing it until her knuckles ached.

 _He's alive_ , Hokuto told herself grimly. _Subaru is alive._

They set his shattered arm, reinflated his collapsed lung, brought him out of his coma. Still he lay there, motionless, lifeless. His pupils contracted against the glare of light and his hand flinched away from pinches of pain, but he showed no signs of consciousness, no flickers of awareness. The doctors scratched their heads and shrugged helplessly, and he simply lay there, his eyes half-open and horrifically blank.

Hokuto sat beside him all the while, gazing at him hour after hour. She swallowed down the acid that festered in her stomach and did not cry. _He's alive_ , she told herself again, and again, and again. Seishirou had tried to kill him, but he was _alive_.

So why did it still feel like she'd lost?

* * *

In the end, she brought Subaru home.

He sat when she gently pressed on his shoulder, chewed when she put food in his mouth. He blinked slowly, as though perpetually dazed. But he did not speak, and did not seem to hear, and barely seemed to be alive.

The bruises faded; the cast came off. His eyes remained unfocused, as though he were staring at something endlessly far away, as though looking at something that could not be seen. He did not speak. He did not hear.

He was alive, but he did not live.

And Seishirou--

* * *

Seishirou lingered on the streets of Tokyo, a bloodthirsty wolf hounding her footsteps. She saw him across the street from the hospital, lurking outside their apartment building, down the aisle at the grocery store. He watched from a distance, wearing that smile, one eye milky but his gaze lingering and unwavering.

 _You can't save him_ , he'd said. _Death will have its way_ , he'd said.

She saw him, and she knew it was only a matter of time.

* * *

She looked at Subaru, sitting limp and lifeless in the living room chair, and she decided.

"Subaru," she whispered. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I never should have let him get close to you. I just--" she swallowed. "I just wanted you to _have_ something. I wanted you to have something special, something you never wanted to let go of, something you could never surrender. And I knew he could be that to you. I knew you could fall in love with him."

Subaru's gaze remained fixed straight ahead, blank and unresponsive.

She clutched him to her, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears. "I'm sorry, Subaru," she choked out. "I was trying to save you. I never meant to make you endure something worse than death. But I can't let you die, Subaru, I can't."

And she pulled away.

With a preternatural calm, she went to Subaru's bedroom, opened his too-organized closet. There on a hanger was his traditional kimono, the one he wore for his most serious onmyouji duties. It was pure white, unsullied, beautiful.

She pulled it out of the closet and gazed at it for a long, long moment. Then she draped it carefully over her arm. She emerged into the living room, came back to Subaru, and looked at him one last time. Then she kissed his cheek, gently. "I'm sorry, Subaru," she whispered. "But I can't let you die. So please, come back."

She retreated to her bedroom with Subaru's clothing and put it on, piece by piece--the flared hakama, the long, billowing sleeves, the prayer beads. When she was done, she looked at her own reflection in the mirror to see Subaru looking back at her.

 _No_. She shook her head. She was almost Subaru's spitting image, but only _almost_.

After all, he'd never had that steeliness in his eyes.

* * *

Seishirou did not seem surprised.

"Your grandmother," he said, completely casual. "You brought her into this, didn't you?"

"I couldn't save Subaru," Hokuto replied. "Not on my own."

"So you had her do it," Seishirou concluded. "Clever. But that's not a permanent solution, Hokuto-chan. You know that, don't you?"

No tears welled up; there was nothing but calm in her. "I know," she replied. "You're the Sakurazukamori; you'll always try to kill him. You'll always take him away from me. But I won't let you kill him, Sei-chan, and you can't stop me. Not unless you kill me."

Seishirou smiled. It was the same smile as always, amiable and warm. "I'm sure we can make that happen," he replied.

Seishirou was right: someone was going to die. From the moment Seishirou had first touched Subaru's heart, death was inevitable. Death could not be undone. Death could not be deceived. Death had laid its hand down, and none of them could change that.

But perhaps Death would be satisfied with someone else.

Hokuto brought her hands together, gently, and closed her eyes.

* * *

Hokuto was not an onmyouji. She had only minimal training in onmyoudou, had neither the sheer power nor the delicate touch required of a working onmyouji. She could not commit the tremendous acts of salvation that Subaru lived and breathed, and she could not commit the horrific acts of destruction that Seishirou performed without blinking. She did not have the strength to defeat Seishirou, and she most certainly did not have the power to turn away death.

But still, there were some things that only she was capable of.

So she closed her eyes and wove her magic, a spell of love and sacrifice that even Seishirou could not destroy, and she did not turn away, not even when Seishirou's hand plunged into her chest.

 _You can have me_ , she thought. _Death will be satisfied. And you will never kill him._

**Author's Note:**

> Cultural notes:
> 
> A _furoshiki_ is a cloth, often with some sort of pattern or print, used to wrap gifts and other boxes like [this](http://www.furoshiki-kyoto.com/dcms_media/image/small%20size%20Furoshiki.jpg).
> 
> A _genkan_ is a space just inside the front door of Japanese homes where people can take off their shoes. (You don't wear shoes inside the home in Japan!) Slippers for guests are fairly common. Many homes also have a cupboard in the _genkan_ to store their shoes. (This cupboard is actually called a shoe box!)
> 
>  _Monaka_ are a type of _wagashi_ , or Japanese sweet, consisting of red bean paste inside a wafer-like rice cracker shell. The sakura _monaka_ Seishirou brings probably look something [like](https://tshop.r10s.jp/ultramix/cabinet/pioneer/4996090566785_1.jpg?downsize=400:*) [this](http://www.ginza-akebono.co.jp/products/img/mainv/sakuramonaka.jpg).
> 
> A Shiba Inu is a Japanese dog breed. [They're](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/58/Shiba_inu_taiki.jpg/800px-Shiba_inu_taiki.jpg) [very](https://www.zooroyal.de/magazin/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/schwarzer-shiba-inu-760x570.jpg) [cute](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a3/Taro_%28black_and_tan%2C_reu%29_-_Chiko_%28rood%2C_reu%29_-_Ichigo_%28rood%2C_teef%29.jpg).
> 
>  _Go_ is a board game, possibly the oldest in existence, that's mostly popular in East Asia. It vaguely resembles reversi, if you played with chess rules and then multiplied the strategic difficulty level by a thousand.
> 
> The museum Hokuto references is the Watari Museum of Contemporary Art in Shibuya, which opened in 1990.
> 
>  _Enka_ is a type of Japanese ballad. _Enka_ songs are usually quite sentimental and dramatic, and they're stylistically supposed to resemble traditional Japanese music.
> 
> Organ transplantation has a complicated history in Japan. While Japan was one of the early countries engaged in transplant endeavors, that soon ceased after a controversial transplant resulted in a law that largely prohibited organ donations from brain-dead donors. That law would not be repealed until 1997--years after Tokyo Babylon takes place.
> 
>  _Gyouza_ are Japanese-style potstickers.
> 
> To Fayah: I hope you enjoy this fic and have a very merry Yuletide!


End file.
